His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
