i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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