did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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