It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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