This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize