I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
