drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
