I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
