I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
