And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
