ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
