Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
