this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We need a shit load of segways right now
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
