If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I am mentally ready for anal.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
