the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
