Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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