I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sober January is a disaster.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
