watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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