So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
