She said her name was "party"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
