There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize