I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
