i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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