mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
