Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
