I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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