Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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