I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
