Pappa wants mamma naked
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize