he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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