True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize