I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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