The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
birth control should be required to get into college
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
