wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
