She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
