I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
