did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize