party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
