first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
