Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize