don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
