We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I will be naked everywhere
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
