Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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