dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
