dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize