It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize