I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need a beard to bite.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
