i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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