Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
