who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
