My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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