ugly people sure do ruin things
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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