she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
