Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
