She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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