I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
