You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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