I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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